I think it’s important to share about myself a little bit and who I am and how God has brought me here.
First let me start off by saying I have gone through some things that may have mature themes involved which may not be appropriate for all age audiences.
I have been raised in church since birth. Growing up my parents were youth leaders in the church, my dad mainly did youth and my mother children's church. Both sets of grandparents are strong in
faith too. It’s been that foundation that has helped shape who I am.
At an early age I was molested by another male. I really didn’t think on it much. I suppressed it and for a while forgot about it. As I began to age in junior high it resurfaced it and this time I couldn’t really ignore it like I had in the past. Like most victims of abuse I tried to hide it, ignore it, and I certainly didn’t deal with it. About this time my father became ill. The doctors were clueless as to what was going on. The upper portion of his spine stiffened, he turned a poor color, and his iron dropped (he became anemic). For a year or so the doctors continued to run tests with no results showing up. For a bit we thought he had cancer. Eventually he was diagnosed with a rheumatoid arthritis called ankylosing spondylitis which affects the spine and large joints in the body. (Thankfully it is well controlled now by medicine. His iron is where it should be and he can move his neck. God is good!)
My grandmother started to become ill and fell several times. She was a huge part of my faith and still is. I felt like I was loosing everything I really had.
In school I wasn’t popular. I developed acne as I matured; thankfully it didn’t scar, but it was all over my face. I was made fun of often. Everything from a pepperoni face to people actually trying to connect the dots on my face. With very little knowledge of the sport, I decided I would try to play football to gain some acceptance from my peers. My only job being a linemen was to block and tackle the man in front of me yet I struggled with that. With everything going on I developed a nerve disorder. My life was a wreck. My relationship with God was there, it always had really. But it wasn’t strong at all.
I’m not sure how it started. But at some point I started dealing with depression. Some days were okay some were terrible. I began to deal with suicidal thoughts through all of this. There came a evening when it was very strong and I didn’t know how to fake it any more. I couldn’t suppress it any longer. It’s an act of God for sure, but one friend in school texted me and I began to be honest with myself and everything I was dealing with. I was 13 the night I surrendered everything to God and cried out to God. My walk became serious that night.
When I fully committed my life to God I told Him that I didn’t want to be just a person in a pew. I wanted to be used by Him and wanted to live passionately for Him.
That Summer I bought a horseshoe nail cross necklace and wore it to school the next year. I had a teacher who wanted a necklace like mine. He was persistent in having me make him one. At that time I raised show pigs and I was planning to go to a major stock show with one. A day before we were to leave my pig died of stress. Partially our of boredom and partially out of a desire to be used by God I bought all the material to make a necklace. After a youtube tutorial (That was of no help) and an hour later a cross was made. Somehow people started to have interest in them. 8 years later here we are!
I am perfectly imperfect. Since the start of this I’ve flipped a car and almost killed 3 other people with me. By the grace of God no one was hurt.
I’ve made plenty of mistakes and hurt people. But this is life. The beauty is that God uses us where we are at and takes us to deeper levels with Him. There is nothing that God can’t make beautiful and nothing that God cannot redeem and restore.
It is my prayer that my life be an example and testament of the goodness and grace of God.